R.W. Loony California Ballot Recommendations

My friends, I'm all about fair and balanced, so I've asked my brother Lewis Walker (we call him "L.W." for short) to write his ballot recommendations in the blue column. Since you're a loyal, hetero-sapiens, patriotic, gun-loving, global-warming denying, anti-communist, creationist Republican like me, you'll want to follow my recommendations, the ones in the red column. The right-most column.

		L.W. "Left Wing" Loony Says:	R.W. "Right Wing" Loony Says:
Governor	Jerry Brown	30 years of selfless public service without the slightest hint of scandal. Governor (back when California had the best schools and the lowest recidivism rate in the world), Mayor of Oakland (left Oakland with a $32 million rainy day fund), currently our Attorney General. Fights hard for campaign finance reform, the environment, and justice for all. As governor, sold the extravagant governor's mansion built by Reagan and lived in a one bedroom apartment. Owns a black lab named Dharma. What more do you need to know?	My friends, why would you want a public servant as governor? Just look at what a great governor Arnold turned out to be! If only we could elect another bad actor! Fortunately, we Republicans have something even better: Meg Whitman. Meg may not have been a public servant, but she does have servants. Lots of them. She's "tough as nails" on illegal housekeepers and the employers who hire them. Like any good CEO, Meg understands that when she gets tired of her employees, she can throw them away like garbage. And she's pledged to get rid of 40,000 state employees as soon as she takes office. And she'll fight to deny gays the right to marry instead of wasting money on schools. Tough enough for you? Just because Pierre Omidyar, founder of eBay, won't endorse her doesn't mean she didn't do a good job. Meg understands that when you're a CEO, sometimes there's a fine line ($200,000) between employee motivation and assault. Obviously, Meg knew what she was doing or she wouldn't have been able to make millions while eBay stock lost half its value. Or gotten those great insider deals on IPO stock from Goldman-Sachs: they don't give those deals to just anybody. Meg understands that elections are decided by money (at least $119 million so far) not voting (that's why she didn't bother to vote for 28 years). Meg has a plan: tax breaks for herself so that she should get just about all of her $119 million back in four years. My friends, that's exactly the kind of can-do, do-it-yourself thinking we need in a governor!
Lieutenant Governor	Gavin Newsom	Mayor of San Francisco. Fought Proposition Hate, introduced curbside pickup of compostable waste, and cleaned up San Francisco. Endorsed by police, fire-fighters, teachers, the Sierra Club, and every sane newspaper in California.	My friends, disappointed as I am that my fellow Republicans failed to recognize the studliness of Sam Aanestad, I, for the good of the party, endorse Abel Maldonado. He's the goobernator's man, so if, God forbid, Queen Meg ends up serving her term in a prison cell, he'll be ready, willing, and able to step in and give us the same kind of great leadership we've had for the last seven years.
Secretary of State	Debra Bowen	Competent and incorruptible. Some one you can trust to run our elections. I don't know why we need electronic voting machines, but if we're going to use them, we probably ought to insist that they work and are tamper-proof. Which is exactly what Debra Bowen did. She also put all information on State Assembly and Senate bills on the Internet.	My friends, my brother's insistence that we elect competent people to office is discriminatory and downright un-American. Just what you'd expect from a liberal elitist. Damon Dunn is a member of that very exclusive club: Republicans of African American heritage. He understands the dangers of making voting too easy: why should voting be any easier than getting a building permit? He'll protect the integrity of our elections by making dark-skinned people show their papers before voting. He'll make businesses that leave California go through exit interviews (that'll make them think twice). He's a licensed Baptist minister and member of the Saddleback Church. Played for the America's Team, the Cowboys, instead of the socialist California football teams. And he's vehemently anti-choice and anti-gay. My friends, we Republicans trust the invisible hand of the market, not some elected politician to ensure free and fair elections. And why should we waste time certifying electronic voting machines? As long as we only buy them from Republican-owned companies, how could we possibly go wrong?
Controller	John Chiang	This has got to one of the world's worst jobs. Maybe Mike Rowe should take it on for a day. John Chiang stood up to Arnold, saved our state $300 million a year by fixing the process for seizing unclaimed property, reports financial problems honestly. What more do you want in a controller?	I want a lot more! I want Tony Strickland, funding raising chairman for Meg Whitman. Obviously, with Tony as her controller, Meg can treat the state treasury as her personal piggy bank. I think that's what she means when she says she wants to be CEO of California. Tony is fervently anti-choice, so take that, all you tea-baggers that think Meg isn't anti-choice enough.
State Treasurer	Bill Lockyer	Another miserable job, but admirably handled by Bill. Since he's not giving up on us (unlike Sarah Palin), I'm not giving up on him. Bill tells it like it is, knows what he's doing, and he gets things done. Like getting the Toyota-Tesla partnership to re-open the NUMMI plant so we can have 180 mph electric cars. Like getting Standard and Poor's to take our bonds off of its credit watch list.	My friends, once again my brother's insistence on competence blinds him to the superior candidate, Mimi Walters, author and chief proponent of proposition 90, the slumlord protection initiative. Like all real Republicans, Mimi has impeccable anti-choice credentials and hates Spanish-speaking people, even though she once took Spanish classes. Best of all, if Mimi wins the election, my bets against California bonds will pay off big time.
Attorney General	Kamala Harris	Brains, beauty, toughness, and common sense. Not afraid to stand on principles instead of political expediency. She'll protect us from Texas oil companies, greedy insurance companies, con men, and corrupt officials. Her "Back on Track program" reduced the recidivism rate of drug offenders from 54% to 10%, saving millions of dollars a year and improving public safety. Great videos on kamalaharris.com	A woman for attorney general? Who ever heard of such a ridiculous idea? My brother makes it sound like political expediency is a bad thing. My friends, political expediency is as American as sushi and 7-Eleven. Principles are for sissies and elitists who want an excuse to ignore the will of the people. And the attorney general isn't supposed to make people feel safe, he's supposed to scare the hell out of them. How are the gun manufacturers supposed to make any money if people aren't scared shitless? Steve's not afraid to ask for stiff prison sentences for battered women, lest folks think he's soft on crime. He's not afraid to defend proposition 8, no matter how much it costs. I guess he can get the money from shutting down environmental crimes units, like he did in LA. And he's not afraid to side with Texas oil companies against California voters. That, my friends, is what real courage looks like. Steve's not afraid to call juries "incredibly stupid" when he loses, even when liberal elitists say the case he presented was "incredibly bad". He's not afraid to prosecute Democratic politicians (including his opponents: lost the case but won the election) and medical marijuana. I'm sure he would go after Republican politicians just as aggressively if only he could find some in LA. Steve's not afraid to boldly complain that he can't scrape by on $236,829/year. In 2008, when everyone else was enduring layoffs, furloughs, and salary cuts, Steve demanded and got a $55,000 pay raise. for himself. And, he's not afraid to accept campaign donations from defense attorneys and their clients. That's the "can do" spirit we need in our public officials. Steve's not afraid of anything, but he'll keep us all good and scared. That's what I want in an attorney general.
Insurance Commissioner	Dave Jones	Dave Jones started his career by spending six years as a legal aid attorney. He's got an impressive record of protecting consumers. He'll keep the insurance companies in line.	My friends, Mike Villines understands that the most important job of the insurance commissioner is to protect insurance companies. As long as insurance companies are protected, the invisible hand of the market will protect consumers. Mike also understands that nothing should get between doctors and patients, unless the patients happen to be women, especially women who need family planning services.
Member, State Board of Equalization, 3^rd District	Mary Christian Heising	She's paid her dues and she's a retired businesswoman, so she understands taxes.	My friends, the only thing you need to understand about taxes is that you shouldn't have to pay them. I'm so appalled that a Republican would serve on such a board that I'm not endorsing anyone. Our Republican candidate says, "When adjudicating tax disputes, I will always presume that a taxpayer is innocent, until proven guilty." That's mighty white of her. And, to seal the deal, she's endorsed by the CPLC
U.S. Senate	Barbara Boxer	My favorite Senator. Can always be counted on to fight the good fight for peace, justice, and the American way. She may be tiny, but she kicks ass. The kind of politician we used to have, you know, the ones who'd rather be right than president. Sad to think she'll probably be retiring just 6 years from now. Those will be some mighty big shoes to fill.	My friends, I must admit that I was absolutely crushed when Chucky DeVore lost to Carly Fiorina. But Carly has won me over. She's convinced me that she truly is every bit as anti-gay, anti-choice, anti-consumer, pro-assault weapons, anti-environment, anti-California, pro-insurance company, and just plain loony (in a good way) as Chucky DeVore. Supported by the US [sic] Chamber of Commerce, so you know she'll look out for the interests of our Chinese, Russian, and Saudi friends. Watching her debate with Barbara Boxer, I saw what Sarah Palin must have seen in her. Carly Fiorina, the essence of heroic Republican heroine. When she stood up for the rights of an often neglected minority: people on the terrorist watch list, I got chills up and down my spine. She bravely defended their right to purchase automatic weapons. Then she sealed the deal with the classic, "Some of my best friends are on the no-fly list." My friends, she was so hot! Then she went on to lecture us on how we need to be more like China, probably the same lecture she gave when she laid off 30,000 people and sent their jobs to China. It's tough love, baby!
US Representative, 53^rd	Susan Davis	Thanks to Susan Davis, we've got a big improvement in our health insurance. Now if we could just persuade her to sign on to Alan Grayson's "Medicare for All" bill...	I don't know anything about the Republican nominee, except that he must have gotten a really good deal on yard signs, probably printed in China. He has a web site, criminalsforcongress.com
US Representative, 50^th	Francine Busby	Hard-working and honest, 10 years on the Cardiff School Board. After Cunningham and Bilbray, wouldn't it be nice change to have some one who honestly represents the people of her district?	I went sailing with Brian once. He spent the whole time talking about how we need more nuclear power plants. Nuke, baby, nuke! The 50^th needs nukes now! Brian's biggest backer is Millennium Laboratories. $23,600 so far this year. That's a lot of urine samples. Brian likes his cigars. Brian's Cigar Club sounds like an excellent, old-school way to get important information from contributors. Brian also has amazing powers: he can recognize illegal aliens by their shoes. And he knows that if you want to give citizenship to immigrants that have served in our armed forces, you're an accessory to murder.
State Assembly, 76^th District	Toni Atkins	Vows to carry on Lori Soldaña's work. Good enough for me.	I don't know anything about the Republican candidate, but I'm sure he will protect the right of unborn Californians to run around carrying guns. I always feel safer when people are brandishing firearms, don't you?
Chief Justice of the California Supreme Court Tani G. Cantil-Sakauye	YES	Schwarzenegger appointee. She's a registered Republican, but Craig Huey, militant anti-choice conservative activist, doesn't like her because she performed a same-sex marriage and she goes to a "liberal" Methodist church, whatever that means. She actually seems to be a fairly conservative judge.
Assoc. Justice of the California Supreme Court Ming W. Chin	YES	Appointed by Pete Wilson. Anti-choice activists don't like him because he ruled against a parental consent law. Otherwise, he's a conservative judge, but apparently not an extremist. Would Jerry Brown appoint some one better? Meg Whitman would probably pick some one far worse.
Assoc. Justice of the California Supreme Court Carlos R. Moreno	YES	Gray Davis appointee. Only supreme court judge to rule against Proposition Hate. Good enough for me.
Presiding Justice, Court of Appeal, District 4, Division 1 Judith D. McConnell	YES	Gray Davis appointee. Seems rational (thus drawing the wrath of Republican extremists).
Presiding Justice, Court of Appeal, District 4, Division 2 Manuel A. Ramirez	NO	Appointed by George Deukmejian. Much loved by extremists.
Assoc. Justice, Court of Appeal, District 4, Division 2 Carol D. Codrington	NO	Appointed by Schwarzenegger in August of this year. Luke-warm endorsement from extremists. You won't find any information about her at courtinfo.ca.gov--- it still shows her predecessor, Barton Gaut. I haven't been able to find out much about her, but I think we can do better.
Presiding Justice, Court of Appeal, District 4, Division 3 David B. Sills	NO	Appointed by George Deukmejian. Much loved by extremists.
Assoc. Justice, Court of Appeal, District 4, Division 3 William W. Bedsworth	YES	Appointed by Pete Wilson. Extremists are unhappy with him because he ruled that you can't exclude homosexuals from juries just because they're homosexual.
Assoc. Justice, Court of Appeal, District 4, Division 3 Eileen C. Moore	YES	Appointed by Gray Davis. Extremists dislike her because she ruled against the tobacco companies.
Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 20	Richard R. Monroy	Richard R. Monroy is rated "well qualified" by the San Diego Bar Association. Endorsed by the San Diego Union.	Jim Miller is endorsed by the San Diego Republican Party and the "biblical values" crowd, more than compensating for his "lacking in qualifications" rating from the San Diego Bar Association.
State Superintendent of Public Instruction	Tom Torlakson	Larry Aceves, his opponent, is also a former teacher. Either candidate would be excellent; Tom Torlakson gets the nod from me for being perhaps a tiny bit more politically savvy.	Why aren't there any Republicans in this race?
San Diego Unified School District Member, Board of Education - District B	Kevin Beiser	Math teacher of the year. Outstanding results teaching algebra to middle school students. Endorsed by every rational organization. Will be only teacher on the school board: shouldn't that be a requirement for the job?	Steven Rosen is endorsed by the San Diego Republican Party. Why would we want teachers on the board of education? We want business people who aren't afraid to ask the question that is rarely asked: Is our children learning?
San Diego Unified School District Member, District C	John De Beck
Assessor/Recorder/County Clerk	David L. Butler		Ernie Dronenburg is endorsed by the San Diego Republican Party.
Proposition 19. Tax Cannabis	YES	It's time to stop making criminals out of law-abiding, productive citizens. Plus we need the money.	OK, I guess I have to agree with my brother. Some might worry that this might put a lot of Republicans out of work: prison guards, probation officers, and police officers, but I say, "Not to worry, we'll still have plenty of work for them." Besides, some one will have to collect the marijuana taxes. And don't forget product testing.
Proposition 20. Re-districting Power Grab	NO	What a great idea: let's have an unelected committee draw not just the state assembly and senate boundaries, but the congressional districts as well. Give them vague instructions on grouping people with similar incomes into districts. Yeah, that'll be way better than what we have now. And way more expensive.	And what's so wrong with having a secret committee draw all our legislative boundaries? I think it would be better, though, if the committee members were chosen by random lottery. Hey, maybe we could just skip a step and use the same method to select our representatives. Isn't that what "independent" voters do?
Proposition 21. State Park Funding	YES	We have the greatest system of state parks in the world, but for years, we're been starving them of money. Any increase in taxes is painful, but these are desperate times, and it's an $18 fee. Vehicle entrance/day use fees at state parks currently range from $4-$15. If Prop 21 passes, California residents get free admission to state parks, so that seems to be a fair exchange.	No, no, no, we can only raise taxes on Democrats. If we need more money for parks, we should raise the entrance fees. We know only Democrats go to state parks. If we need more money, we can raise the fees for fishing and hunting licenses, just like we do every year. I know, hunters and fishers aren't all Democrats, but they never complain when we raise their fees.
Proposition 22. No Borrowing of Transportation Tax Revenues	NO	Great solution to our budget nightmare! Make it almost impossible to re-allocate funds when we need to.	What's wrong with tying the hands of the legislature? As Republicans, it's our duty to make our government as dysfunctional as possible.
Proposition 23. Texas Oil Company License to Pollute/Green Technology Killer	NO	Another blatant abuse of ballot initiatives: Texas oil companies are spending billions on this initaitive to exempt themselves from California pollution laws and kill investment in green energy jobs.	Why shouldn't Texas oil companies be able to exempt themselves from California laws? Heck, if they had an initiative to exempt Texas oil companies from all taxes, I'd vote for it.
Proposition 24. Close Tax Loopholes for Big Business	YES	If we're ever going to get out of the hole we're in, we've got to stop using the tax code to reward big corporations for the political contributions. We can't afford $1.7 billion in loopholes, especially since this give-away won't even result in any new California jobs. And, no R.W., there is absolutely no way that you can call this a tax increase: it's not closing current loopholes, it's closing loopholes that will appear in the tax code next year unless this proposition passes.	There you go again: closing loopholes is just another word for raising taxes. Instead of wasting their money creating jobs in California, these multi-billion dollar companies spent a great deal of time and money inserting loopholes into the California tax code. Taking out the loopholes before the companies can use them is just plain mean, like promising a child a lollipop, then saying she can't have the lollipop because it will rot her teeth. I say, if you have enough money, you should be able to have all the lollipops you want.
Proposition 25. End Budget Gridlock	YES	This is basic common sense: no budget, no paycheck for the legislators. This imitative allows adoption of a state budget with a simple majority vote so our state will never again be held hostage by a small group of extremist loonies. The legislature will still need a 2/3 majority in order to raise taxes.	A simple majority is fine for taking away people's right to marry, but as long as our brave and patriotic Republican representatives can hang onto 1/3 + 1 of the seats in the legislature, they should be able to shutdown the government any time they want. Heck, in the US Senate, it just takes one Senator to completely shutdown the government and look how well that's worked.
Proposition 26. Polluter Protection Act	NO	This proposition is either an example of insanity or criminal mischief. It makes it almost impossible to charge oil, tobacco, and alcohol companies for cleaning up their mess. In the midst of the worst financial crisis in California's history, this proposition also seems to be a deliberate attempt to bankrupt local governments or force them to stop providing basic services such as police and fire protection, as well as garbage pickup, water and sewer service.	Hey, wait a second, toxic polluters and the merchants of death are the backbone of our economy! I can't think of anyone more deserving of our tax dollars. I certainly don't want to live in some kind of socialist nanny state where the government takes care of things we should be doing for ourselves. The founding fathers didn't have garbage pick up or water and sewer services, or fire and police departments. What is the constitutional basis for these big government encroachments into the private sector? Say yes to toxic sludge and private police!
Proposition 27. Eliminate Redistricting Committee	YES	It's time to dump Arnold's ridiculous and ridiculously expensive plan to change the way electoral districts are drawn. If Arnold really wanted to improve the process of deciding the boundaries of these districts, he could have just proposed that voters approve electoral district boundaries. Instead, he proposed that the boundaries be drawn by a committee. The members of this committee are not elected. Rather, they are selected through some arcane process that no one understands. About the only thing anyone agrees on is that the members of the committee will collect at least a cool million for their efforts. It's time to stop this insanity. Vote yes on 27.	Electoral district boundaries are much too important to be left to voters or elected officials. That's why in 2008, the vast majority of voters (50.9%, a margin of less than 200,000 votes out of 11 million total votes) wisely decided that they and their representatives could not be trusted to draw legislative boundaries. Six million registered California voters didn't even bother to vote in the November 2008 election; obviously these folks didn't feel that they should be asked to decide anything. The people have spoken loudly and clearly: don't bother us with elections.
San Diego County Prop A: Union-busting for County Contracts	NO
San Diego County Prop B: Tenure for Deputy City Attorneys	NO	What a great idea: make it impossible for a new city attorney to fire the underlings of the previous city attorney. Why even bother electing the city attorney?	My friends, I couldn't have said it better myself. Why elect any city officials at all? Why not just have them all appointed by a secret board of big business executives?
San Diego County Prop C: Pacific Highlands Ranch Development	NO	Amends Prop M to allow Pardee to build 1900 homes (or even more, if the City Council approves) on 2,102 acres *before* a new freeway ramp is constructed on SR-56. Where are all the cars going to go? Wouldn't it be nice if we could link massive development projects to public transportation and water/sewer improvements instead of to freeway construction? I don't buy Pardee's argument that they can't build a school or library until they build more homes--- how about a new rule: build the infrastructure *before* you build the houses?
San Diego County Prop D: Temporary Half Cent Sales Tax with Pension Reform and Managed Competition	YES	Without some new source of revenue, I fear that the city will go bankrupt. Half a cent sales tax for a maximum of five years seems like a reasonable price to pay for keeping the city solvent and reducing the cuts to city services. Prop D does require the city to make significant reductions in employee and retiree benefits. Not sure if this is entirely fair, but the city simply doesn't have the money. Privatizing operation of the landfill might work and might be a rare case where outsourcing might actually save the city money, if it were carefully managed to encourage recycling services.	We don't need any tax hikes on Republicans, no matter how small. We should tax Democrats instead. Better yet, get Rumpelstilzchen to spin our garbage into gold. I found him on Facebook.
San Diego Unified School District Prop J: Emergency Teacher Retention/Classroom Education	YES	$98/year (per parcel) for 5 years, to save our schools. It's a lot of money, but if you don't spend money on schools, you'll be spending even more money on prisons. Besides, if we don't educate kids, who's going to pay for our social security and medicare?